Families & Friends

The Eleventh Commandment: Be Kind!

Recently we discovered this new publication, The Eleventh Commandment: Why Kindness Matters, written by Rich DuBose, Michael Temple, and Karen Spruill, with added support from her husband Timothy. The book is available from AdventSource. This authorship team is an amazing tapestry of Adventist pastoring, writing and sharing personal songs, publishing books, magazine editor, video film director and editor, legal advocate, and licensed psychologist with many years focused on suicidal situations. 

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Families and Friends


We’ve been re-reading an excellent book by  Loma Linda theology professor, Richard Rice, Believing, Behaving, Belonging: finding a new love for the church. Early in the second chapter, a section is titled “The Spirit Creates Community...the spirit not only works within us, but it also works among us, or between us. It gives spiritual life to the community and the individual.”

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“Together Again” Kampmeeting

July 14-17, 2022
John & Carolyn Wilt, Directors-at-Large
Families & Friends Coordinators

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Often we connect with families struggling with the sudden awareness that a family member is LGBTQIA+. This new awareness can be stressful and awkward for all the family members. Feelings and emotions can range in all directions, causing confusion and misunderstandings. It’s more common than many families realize until they suddenly are spinning in their own emotional tornado.

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Sois le bienvenu, février 2022 ! Oui, beaucoup d'entre nous se protègent encore de diverses variantes du COVID, donc nous enverrons des cartes ou des cartes de vœux électroniques d'amour et d'affection plutôt que de donner des câlins et des poignées de main en personne. En Amérique du Nord et dans de nombreuses régions d'Europe, le 14 février met en évidence les merveilleux traits émotionnels de l'amour et de l'affection pour les autres.

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Connecting & Supporting LGBTQ+ Families

Kinship Families & Friends Zoom Roundtable

The SDA Kinship Families & Friends group desires to support all families working their way through emotional and, possibly, confusing times. We (Carolyn and John) conducted two Sabbath school evaluations. In one class, 42% shared that they had an LGBTQ+ family member, and in the other class, it was 45%. We also estimate that 5-10% don’t know if they have an LGBTQ+ family member, while an additional 5-10% don’t care to admit it.

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Les thérapies de conversion sont-elles efficaces ?

Comme Carolyn et moi sommes en contact avec de nombreuses familles et amis proches LGBTQIA+, on nous pose souvent des questions sur les thérapies de conversion. Oui, nous avons été en contact avec quelques personnes qui revendiquent le " succès " de leur expérience de conversion et nous avons également été en contact avec d'autres personnes qui ont échoué dans leur expérience de conversion.

Mais qu'est-ce que le concept de "SOCE" ? Nous avons fait des recherches sous plusieurs angles et nous allons partager ce qui semble être des informations et des recommandations bien fondées.

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Family & Friends

Focusing and Refocusing, Adjusting and Readjusting

Focusing is a complex process. How many times a day do you stop and focus on something? Maybe you need to see a special store sign or read an email message. Maybe the room is noisy, and you need to focus your ears to hear an important announcement. Or how about focusing your emotional support on an activity or a dear friend? Our human brains and emotions are constantly being challenged and refocused to experience our daily lives, and our reactions and behaviors also need to readjust to new situations.

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Family & Friends


Wow, it’s springtime already! Our wildflowers are springing up in the foothills, green grass is bursting out for our deer to enjoy, and the male turkeys are busy attracting some girlfriends.

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As Carolyn and I explored “variations,” we discovered that every one of us is “varied.” She and I have different heights, different body shapes, distinct personalities, and even different behaviors. We are greatly varied.

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“Learning” is an interesting and complex process. All living creatures learn as they grow and mature. If you think about that process, it’s easy to recall watching your pets learn to find food, chase toys, or hide from you when you are looking for them. Also think about yourself or your children as you learned to walk, talk, play, read, and even think and make decisions. 

So learning is really gathering information or experiences to make, hopefully, excellent decisions. Where are those decisions made? All decisions originate in our brain and transfer to the muscles, organs, and emotions to protect us and help us survive. Yes, some reactions appear to develop naturally through our genetics, but we develop and learn most of them as our brains and ourselves mature.

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Carolyn and I hope this finds you enjoying the Christmas and New Year’s holidays despite the virus. We pray you could connect in person or through digital media with your special family members.   We also hope you all created some positive and beneficial memories as you traveled the unpredictable paths of 2020.

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Many LGBTQ+ folks have celebrated their successful “coming out” to friends and their families. It’s probably a process and event they had thought about and worked on for many months and years. Hopefully, they had created a network of friends and other LGBTQ+ folks that helped them - even coached them - on the scary but desired event. Their understanding and supporting friends were valuable allies for that major and probably emotional time.

Yes, it was a “successful event” for the LGBTQ+ member. They wanted to do it, they needed to do it, and they had their personal courage and friends’ and allies’ support to fall back on to if it didn’t work out as desired.  

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La table ronde de family & friends - Compte-rendu mensuel de la réunion ZOOM

Nous avons commencé nos tables rondes mensuelles qui permettent d'établir des liens. Nous espérons qu'elles constitueront un moment bénéfique et personnel propice pour se réunir et partager dans le monde de Kinship. La participation à chaque réunion a augmenté, grâce à vous tous qui avez rejoint notre groupe.

Le dimanche dernier, notre table ronde nous a permis d'entendre les réflexions et les commentaires du pasteur Kris et de Debbie Widmer concernant le film/musique "The Fiddler on the Roof" et ses chansons et dialogues très significatifs sur le thème de l'adaptation aux changements qui affectent la vie. La participation et les commentaires de nombreux participants ont été excellents. Ceux qui ne se sont pas joints à notre groupe de réflexion ont manqué la modification apportée par le pasteur Kris à la chanson de clôture - d'une manière ou d'une autre, Walla Walla, Loma Linda, La Sierra et d'autres lieux traditionnels adventistes ont été intégrés à la chanson. Cette chanson a clôturé en beauté ce débat sur les traditions, le changement et la famille. 

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Bonjour depuis la Discovery Bay dans l'État de Washington. Alors que nous nous trouvons dans notre appartement et que nous contemplons les eaux calmes de Puget Sound. Il fait plus chaud que d'habitude, mais au moins nous respirons un air sans fumée. Nous avons quitté la Californie la semaine dernière dans des conditions de fumées et d'incendies extrêmes. 

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Recently I read an article sharing the successful accomplishments a primatologist had made over her lifelong desire and goal to help chimpanzees survive and expand. Early in her career, we had the joy of spending a couple of days with her as she shared with college students and later in two public conferences.

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We humans enjoy connecting. We connect with family members on special occasions. Many of us enjoyed the weekly connections with friends at Sabbath services when they were allowed, and we look forward to returning to those times again.

Connecting allows us to catch up on each other’s lives—travels, special occasions, celebrations—or give support to others during stressful times. We get to share new information, maybe new places to visit, learn new information, or give support that someone else needs. That’s how we can enrich someone else’s life and, in turn, have our own lives enriched and improved. Connecting in person is valuable because you can sense each other’s joys and challenges and give hugs and personal responses. In-person, connections are great.   

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Mankind enjoys connecting with each other. How many of you look forward to seeing and connecting with your own families for celebrations, special gatherings, or just relaxing and having fun together??

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Kinship Family & Friends wants to become experts and promoters of those three actions. 

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