Gay Parenting

A sizable minority of gay men and lesbian women are married or once were--and many are parents.  Conservative estimates exceed 1 million each for both gay fathers  and lesbian mothers.^105-108  Indeed, while 37% of heterosexual women have children under 18 in their homes, 31% of homosexual women also have children in their homes.¹⁰⁶  At least 6 million children have gay/lesbian parents.  The frequency of homosexual offspring among gay/lesbian parents is similar to that of heterosexual parents.  No evidence has emerged to suggest that the quality of parenting is undermined by a homosexual orientation nor is the overall well-being of the offspring children compromised.^{105,106,109-112}  Furthermore, there is no evidence that the sexual orientation of the parent--whether the child is biologically related or adopted--is automatically or preferentially conferred upon the child.¹¹³   Sexual orientation alone should not be used as the sole basis for psychiatric or legal decisions regarding parenting, child custody, adoption or planned parenting.¹¹⁴  It is not clear whether the Seventh-day Adventist church has taken an explicit position on gay/lesbian parenting.  However, by implication, the current Adventist position is probably non-supportive to gay/lesbian Adventists raising children in their own homes as a family.

I am very proud of the many gay/lesbian Adventist parents that I know.  These parents struggle to nurture their families in a world full of prejudice.  It is not easy, particularly because their church is often a place where candor is least tolerated.  But the children of gay/lesbian parents learn something invaluable:  the Savior does not expect anyone to be dishonest--not with our selves, our church, or our family.  And these same children also learn that Christian love is love--transcending sexual orientation.

105.  JS Gottman.  "Children of gay and lesbian parents," in FW Bozett, MB Sussman, editors, Homosexuality and Family Relations.  New York:  Harrington Park Press, 1990: 177-96, cited by RC Friedman, JI Downey, in the New England Journal of Medicine 1994; 14: 923-930.

106.  CJ Patterson.  "Children of lesbian and gay parents" in Child Development 1992; 63:1025-42, cited by RC Friedman, JI Downey, in the New England Journal of Medicine 1994; 14: 923-930.

107.  FW Bozett.  "Children of Gay Fathers" in FW Bozett, editor, Gay and Lesbian Parents.  New York: 
Praeger, 1987; 39-57, cited by RC Friedman, JI Downey, in the New England Journal of Medicine 1994; 14: 923-930.

108.  "Survey of women with children under 18 in their homes" (Source:  A Voter News Service exit poll, as reported in Institute for Gay and Lesbian Strategic Studies Face Sheet:  Economic Issues for Lesbians and Bisexual Women, July 1996), in the Advocate, 18 February 1997, 20.

109.  M Kirkpatrick, C Smith, R Roy.  "Lesbian mothers and their children:  a comparative study" in the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 1981; 41: 545-51, cited by RC Friedman, JI Downey, in the New England Journal of Medicine 1994; 14: 923-930.

110.  S Golombok, A Spencer, M Rutter.  "Children in lesbian and single-parent households:  psychosexual and psychiatric appraisal" in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1983; 24: 551-72, cited by RC Friedman, JI Downey, in the New England Journal of Medicine 1994; 14: 923-930.

111.  R Green, JB Mandel, ME Horvedt, J Gray, L Smith.  "Lesbian mothers and their children:  a comparison with solo parent heterosexual mothers and their children" in the Archives of Sexual Behavior 1986; 14: 167-84, cited by RC Friedman, JI Downey, in the New England Journal of Medicine 1994; 14: 923-930.

112.  B Miller.  "Gay fathers and their children" in Family Coordination 1979; 28: 544-52, cited by RC Friedman, JI Downey, in the New England Journal of Medicine 1994; 14: 923-930.

113.  Judith Stacey and Timothy Biblarz.  “(How) Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter?”  American Sociological Review, Vol 66 (April 2001), 159-183.

114.  RC Friedman, JI Downey.  "Homosexuality" in the New England Journal of Medicine 1994; 14: 927.